There is no more vital calling or vocation for men than fathering. Fatherhood is the ultimate work of the male man. Margret Thatcher once said, “I owe everything to my father.” It is quite unfortunate that children, both boys and girls, get to discover the intensity and longevity of their father need only after the death of their father. Fathers are the first spiritual covering for and over their children. Their pronouncements over their children have tremendous impact in their lives and destinies. The impressions made by a father’s voice can set in motion the trend of an entire lifetime.
Fathers are as equally important to children just as mothers are but in a different way. There is unquestionable linkage between fathers and babies starting right from birth. Infants are born wired to want to find and connect with their fathers. New-borns as young as only six weeks old have been observed to differentiate between a father’s voice from the mother’s. At week eight, infants can even distinguish between their mother’s caretaking methods from their father’s, if the father is involved-that is.
As they learn how to speak, it is quite interesting to note their word for father often precedes their word for mother. The reason why this is so has not yet been known. As a matter of fact, toddlers are very much assertive of father need; they will seek out their father, ask for him when he is not present, and be fascinated when he talks to them whether on phone while away, or face to face.
Without undermining how girls need their fathers, which we also acknowledge, boys are constructed emotionally to be dependent on Daddy in ways that were not understood until recently. Regardless of how wonderful the mother is, it is a liability for a boy not to have a father because there are some things that Mama cannot teach the boy. In my considered opinion, it is not the economic status of a single mother that is really the key factor determining the overall wellbeing of a boy but the absence of the father.
While it is true that children of all ages irrespective of gender have an innate need for contact with their fathers, boys tend to suffer most from the absence or non-involvement of fathers. A father is a standard by which all subsequent men in a boy’s and a girl’s life will be judged. A father is vital in teaching the boy how to be a man by correcting him authoritatively when he goes wrong. For many little girls, life with their father is like a dress rehearsal for love and marriage. Any child, whether boy or girl, is unlikely to find a father in God unless he or she finds something of God in his own father.
(An excerpt from a book titled ‘The Maze of Masculinity’ by Stephen Kigwa. Get yourself a copy for your personal library: https://www.mskigwa.com/shop/product/the-maze-of-maculinity.html
Happy father’s day to all the wonderful fathers out there.